--by a round of applause, how do you feel?--

i think a good long drive would do us both some good...
i only hope it'll turn out well.

--kim-bites-her-nails

ten 'til two, and the lights are down low

i've decided that i need to make a new playlist entitled, "the drive home."

"winds from the east is blowin' in
like somethin' is brewin'
and 'bout to begin.
can't put me finger on what lies in store
but i feel what's to happen
all happen before..."

--kim-takes-one-for-her-baby-and-one-more-for-the-road

nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't...

it's a strange sensation being a secret...

very disappointing when you should in fact be flaunted about and shown off,
but when you really are that dirty little secret, it's hard to decided just how you feel about it.

not that you think you're in the right- to play a major role in a deceitful act...
but there's a certain element of excitement that goes along with it. an increase of intellect, in fact.

an ultimate feeling of, "oh, if only you knew, you poor sap..." doesn't seem to stop haunting you...

still, in some circumstances, you feel as though you're playing more of a fool than (s)he, who is being fooled.
you're not a priority, nor are you much reckoned with- yet you're played like a deck of cards, while you yourself have your own hand to deal with.

do you want it to stop?
do i...?

--kim-steals-a-kiss

australia, asia, america: the triple threat

tonight was a marvelous night, and you don't even have to ask me why-- cuz i'm gunna tell ya!

so after being blown off by three different sources of companionship, i decided to go loner tonight to agora. i figured, hey, i've got my computer, i've got my camera... i'll just get there and keep myself busy. i get situated and see some good views of a few good angles, and start snapping away.
a few minutes into my little "shoot," this australian guy leans down to me (i'm on the floor at this point) and asks what i'm doing, if i'm for a magazine, and if so, which one?-- i explained that, no, i'm shooting for myself, and that next semester i was aspiring to attend the art institute of houston to become a graphic designer. he thought that was pretty interesting and asks me a whole bunch of questions about how interested in the field i am, how much i've done, how i like it so far, yadda yadda yadda-- well, then he tells me that he, himself was a graphic design artist-- so i was like, cool-- what a coincidence.
then he invited me over to chat with him and his wife--
well, by the middle of the conversation, the couple decided they liked my personality and confidence a whole lot and that i'd do really well in graphic design. so the guy gives me his card, tells me that if i should want an internship, and/or an eventual job to get a hold of him.
i was already floored by that...
but then his wife was like, "wait, don't you think that she'd do well at our other place?" (a tennis clothing design company they started as partners)... a few words later, this couple was actually arguing over where i should go for my internship that hasn't happened yet!!
well, the time came for them to go, and they gave me hugs each and took their leave.
i looked at the guy's card after they walked away...
he told me he was a graphic designer... what he didn't tell me was that he was the fucking senior art director of his company...
AHHHHH!

so my "thrilled" levels are officially through the roof...
i am, indeed excited to simply be alive right now...

if you can't say something nice...

so this is how it's playing out:

for years my sister and myself would avoid going over to my father's house at all costs just so that we would not have to deal with one woman whose very name we abhorred since we'd heard that she was his new romantic occupation.
christmas, father's day, easter-- you name it, it was some how trashed, crashed and dashed on the jagged rocks of legal visitation. what makes it worse is that our efforts have basically been in complete vein, in that everything we fought against happening-- has happened.

and so we are here... stuck in a pit of slow sand; not nearly as fast, but twice as deadly.

on a lighter note- video chatting is proving to be pretty kick A. i wish it wouldn't end.

--kim-is-being-tried