nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't...

it's a strange sensation being a secret...

very disappointing when you should in fact be flaunted about and shown off,
but when you really are that dirty little secret, it's hard to decided just how you feel about it.

not that you think you're in the right- to play a major role in a deceitful act...
but there's a certain element of excitement that goes along with it. an increase of intellect, in fact.

an ultimate feeling of, "oh, if only you knew, you poor sap..." doesn't seem to stop haunting you...

still, in some circumstances, you feel as though you're playing more of a fool than (s)he, who is being fooled.
you're not a priority, nor are you much reckoned with- yet you're played like a deck of cards, while you yourself have your own hand to deal with.

do you want it to stop?
do i...?

--kim-steals-a-kiss